Our journey to wholeness.

As I proceed on my coaching journey, I come to realize that throughout my life, the one desire I had is to be whole and complete as a person. It is as if my whole life is currently coming together in this one quest that I have and that is to be whole.

What do I mean by wholeness?

The Collins Dictionary defines  wholeness as follow: 

UNCOUNTABLE NOUN

Wholeness is the quality of being complete or a single unit and not broken or divided into parts.

...the need for wholeness and harmony in mind, body and spirit.

In most of the SELF-HELP MATERIAL on the market we are taught to be successful, we are being taught to win, to overcome challenges, and to be the best person that we can ever be. Although it is very a very good principle to teach people to be successful in their lives, we must not forget the thing that is most important and that is to function as a holistic and whole human being. There must be harmony and balance equanimity and equilibrium in mind, body and spirit. Only then can we become whole enough and it will automatically translate to success in all areas of life.

Wholeness is when everything that you are, and everything that you have learned comes togethether in one point in time and it creates within you a set of flow

In POSITIVE PHYCOLOGY, the idea of flow is a state of being where describes flow as a state of complete immersion in an activity. Being immersed can be defined as a state of focus in which a person is completely absorbed and engrossed in their work.  - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Positive Phycologist.

You can only focussed in the state of flow and be totally immersed and engrossed in your work if you function as a complete and whole human being and there is nothing holding you back.

In Japan the word Ikigai (生き甲斐, lit. 'a reason for being') is used for a sense of purpose and it can only be achieved if  a person  functions  as a whole where spirit, body & mind comes together in unity and live out their accomplishments  and pursue their passions in life

 Such a state of being can only be achieved if there is inner balance, equilibrium and equanimity and no inner tension strife or frustration is present in order for a person to functions as a whole and complete human being.

“So it is said, for him who understands Heavenly joy, life is the working of Heaven; death is the transformation of things. In stillness, he and the yin share a single Virtue; in motion, he and the yang share a single flow.”

― Zhuangzi, The Complete Worksof Chuang Tzu

Men and woman functions in different roles, we are children to our parents, lovers, to our spouses or partners in life, parents to our own children, siblings to our brothers and sisters and also employees to our employers, and also do we become employers to our employees. We also function in different roles in society, on committees, councils’ boards of directors and a myriad of other titles and positions.

Each one of those roles demands that we give 100% of our time and energy towards them and therefore we become overwhelmed by the demands of life and we start to neglect some things or people in our lives in order to become successful in what we set out to do or achieve.

Shauna Niequist said the following: “It's not hard to decide what you want your life to be about. What's hard, she said, is figuring out what you're willing to give up in order to do the things you really care about.” ― Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet: Thoughts on Change, Grace, and Learning the Hard Way

Sometimes we sacrifice the most important things in life to achieve the least important things. We sacrifice our relationships, time and families and health to make money or to be successful in our careers and businesses and because of that we become un-whole and there is no balance or harmony in mind, body and spirit. Therefor we create suffering in our own lives and the lives of our loved ones and others because we do not function from a place of wholeness. Even in our careers or businesses we become pre occupied with our worries, fears and distress. We then create inner turmoil, inner frustrations and emotional torment.  our lives are spiralling out of our control and we cannot cope with the demands of life anymore.

The wheel of life is a powerful NLP (Neuro linguistic programming) tool to help people to plot where there are imbalances in their life, with 8 different segments or life areas, that we need to work on in achieving a sense of wholeness or a holistic approach to life.

These are: (in no particular order)

• 1.       Career.
• 2.       Money.
• 3.       Health.
• 4.       Friend and family.
• 5.       Significant other, spouse, partner (Romance).
• 6.       Personal Growth and Spirituality.
• 7.       Fun and Recreation.
• 8.       Physical environment.

The idea of this is to create a balance between these 8 segments in order to live a life of wholeness, so that all of these are more or less on the same level. In doing so we will live a live of balance harmony and equanimity without stress fear and worry.

We often live lives that are full of worry stress and fear because we have ignored certain segments of our lives and we neglected it, and therefore we created certain imbalances in our lives. These imbalances, result in failed marriages, relationships, careers, finances, poor relationships with self and others, stress, worry and frustration in our lives. In order to correct these imbalances requires attention, energy, time and dedication.

Even if we have achieved success in our finances or our careers, we have often done that, on account of our families, relationships, personal growth and spirituality. Therefore, an imbalance in our lives arise or manifest, because we neglected areas of our lives and it causes stress, depression and frustration and we experience a loss of performance in the areas that we worked so hard on to achieve.

Worry stress and depression then manifest in our nervous system and it creates psychosomatic illnesses and disease. If we do not work on it, it will create never ending cycles of sickness and disease.

We need to heal those areas in our lives that has been infected by the negative energy of stress fear and worry, because those areas will disempower us and will cause us to self-sabotage and therefore will limit our success.

THE BOTTOM LINE is, that we need to CREATE EQUANIMITY, EQUILIBRIUM AND BALANCE in our lives in order for us to function properly and to be successful in all areas of life otherwise we simply create an existence where we live from one crisis to another, and it will end in frustration, resentment disappointment, discouragement, and depression.

Thank you.

Coach Fanus