Transforming your life from happiness to wholeness.
Everyone wants to be happy.
Everyone wants to be happy, it is the primary desire of humanity, and yet happiness is an ever-elusive state of being. Most of us experience glimpses of happiness in our lifetimes when we got a promotion at work when we fell in love when we got married when everything seems to go our way. The truth is that the state of happiness never lasts, we often go through periods in our lives of unhappiness. It seems to be a thing that we cannot avoid.
In 2019/2020 we battled with Covid
In 2022 there was a war in Ukraine, with all of its financial impacts on our economy.
One wonders, what on earth is going to hit us this year?
Sometimes we often think “this is going to be my year” or this is the year that my life is going to change and everything will be well, I will experience financial and health breakthroughs, and it will be the best year of my life. There is certainly nothing wrong with that line of thinking, it is good to be positive and to expect the best of life to happen, have great prospects for the future, and want happiness for your life and for your loved ones. There is no reason to be pessimistic about 2023, but the reality is, that we do not know what is going to happen to us, and what the future is going to look like a year from now. Are we going to be happy, are we going to be wealthy, are we going to be healthy. These are the questions that we grapple with at the start of every year, and sometimes at the end of the year, we are amazed by the events that occurred and the experiences that we had during the year.
In retrospect we learned that life became a bit difficult for some in 2022, a lot of the things that happened this year stole our happiness and left us with feelings of desolation and despair. We often times wonder how we will ever recover from it.
In this blog post and in my own personal theme for 2023, I want to encourage you to change your mindset from seeking happiness to seeking wholeness.
What is the difference between happiness and wholeness?
Hugh Mackay says the following about the difference between the two concepts
“I actually attack the concept of happiness. The idea that - I don’t mind people being happy - but the idea that everything we do is part of the pursuit of happiness seems to me a really dangerous idea and has led to a contemporary disease in Western society, which is fear of sadness. It’s a really odd thing that we’re now seeing people saying “write down 3 things that made you happy today before you go to sleep”, and “cheer up” and “happiness is our birthright” and so on. We’re kind of teaching our kids that happiness is the default position - it’s rubbish. Wholeness is what we ought to be striving for and part of that is sadness, disappointment, frustration, and failure; all of those things which make us who we are. Happiness and victory and fulfillment are nice little things that also happen to us, but they don’t teach us much. Everyone says we grow through pain and then as soon as they experience pain they say “Quick! Move on! Cheer up!” I’d like just for a year to have a moratorium on the word “happiness” and replace it with the word “wholeness”. Ask yourself “is this contributing to my wholeness?” and if you’re having a bad day, it is.”
― Hugh Mackay
Happiness is a state, not a trait
According to positive psychology, happiness is a state, not a trait, it is not a long-standing, permanent feature or personality trait but a changeable state of being. It equates with feelings of pleasure and contentment and it is not to be confused with, bliss, joy, or ecstasy.
It can also be an internal or an external experience. The point is, what makes you happy today will not make you happy tomorrow. Happiness is also characterized by contentment and general satisfaction with your current situation. In other words, if your circumstances change and you are no longer content with who you are and what is happening in your life you will become less happy or straight out unhappy.
There are basically two categories of happiness.
- Hedonic happiness or well-being is conceptualized as experiencing more pleasure than pain.
- Eudemonic happiness or well-being conceptualizes happiness as a pursuit and attainment of a goal or life purpose.
The important thing to remember is, with the ever-changing world that we live in our feelings of happiness and contentment can and will change in an instant, - and then what?
The things that will affect or change our state of happiness.
- Individual income (loss or decrease)
- Employment status (loss)
- Physical health or lack thereof.
- Family relationships.
- Social relationships.
- Loss, e.g., Death of loved one, friends, and property.
- Not being able to live out moral values.
- Negative emotions.
The pursuit of happiness should be abandoned for the desire to become whole.
Wholeness is the quality of being complete or a single unit, and not be broken or divided into parts. It is a state of harmony in mind, body, and spirit.
It starts with an inner journey or a journey within oneself to discover the true authentic self, to become a single unit
In the Gnostic Literature, the Gospel of Thomas about the sayings (words) of Jesus the idea of oneness is brought forward.
Saying 22, however, lies in what follows the disciples' question. Jesus replies: "When you make the two into one, and when you make the inner as the outer, and the upper as the lower, and when you make male and female into a single one so that the male shall not be male, and the female shall not be female: . . . then you will enter [the kingdom]."
There are so many things that divide us as human beings, and these are not necessarily the things that divide us from each other, but the things that bring inner turmoil and striving. We see and experience life as dualistic, and we are normally divided between right and wrong, good and evil and it causes a huge amount of inner strife and torment.
When you make male and female into a single one, is a perfect metaphor for entirely different things, and it has the potential to become one unit or thing.
A whole person sees him/herself as:
- An individual in their own right, as well as part of the collective or bigger group of people (family, friends, nation, etc)
- As someone with a past present and future
- Someone who knows, experiences, and relates.
- Someone with a life-affirming and holistic view of life, oneself, and the world we live in.
- Someone that experiences life as a journey, containing occurrences of both good and bad as part and parcel of this life journey.
- A whole person, can amid pain, sickness, and suffering be a complete person, knowing fully that there is nothing or no one to be blamed for their current situation.
- A whole person is not threatened by the success of other people but instead will encourage and support them knowing well that each person is traveling his or her own path through life.
Wholeness is a spiritual approach to life.
Wholeness takes on a spiritual approach to life, being grounded upon a healthy view of the True Self (Higher self, God) and following an integrated path of love, kindness, compassion, forgiveness, humility, and fairness towards all the living.
Wholeness is not based on any religious dogma or method of attainment, but it can incorporate a range of different spiritual practices rituals, and beliefs for instance prayer, contemplation, meditation, chanting, etc.
Wholeness is a spiritual journey, that requires seeking, dwelling, and maintaining the sacredness of life, those fleeting moments where one is aware that there is something more to life, something deeper than the ordinary humdrum of making a living.
Wholeness will empower the individual to face the challenges of life, be vulnerable during the encounters of life, and at the same time be empowered to overcome those challenges.
Wholeness enables the individual to find a deeper meaning towards life and connect with the whole (nature, the universe) more significantly.
Invitation.
I want to invite you, not to seek fleeting happiness in your life, but to search for wholeness. This implies a spiritual journey within yourself. To get to know who you really are, not who people say you are.
- Discover your own True Self
- Discover your strengths
- Discover your weaknesses (Everyone has weaknesses, it will not make you any less of a person. Instead, it will empower you to work on yourself.
- Discover your Shadow self (those demons’ monsters and dragons that you fight daily)
- Lastly, discover who is the hero in your life journey
The Wholeness Journey
The Hero`s Journey into another direction and in narratology and comparative mythology, it is used as a standard template of stories where a hero is involved. It is based on narratology and comparative mythology; it is used as a standard template of stories where a hero is involved. You are the hero of your own story and if you embark on the journey within, you will be enabled to fight the demons that you are faced with in your life, overcome them and exit victoriously. The Hero`s Journey is inspired by the life`s work of Joseph Campbell in a book he wrote, “The hero with 1000 faces.
Becoming whole is a journey, that starts with a desire to become, according to Lao Tzu the “Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” ― Lao Tzu, and therefore if you have the desire to change your circumstances must begin by taking a single step in the right direction and towards your healing.
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